


The Wolves are Coming (Dear God Help Me)

by shiptoomuch



Series: 30 McKirk AUs [13]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Weird?, alternate universe- playgroup/daycare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-27
Updated: 2013-11-27
Packaged: 2018-01-02 18:46:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1060265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiptoomuch/pseuds/shiptoomuch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the prompt from butterflycell on tumblr: "Bones is the only dad at the playgroup and is sick of the mothers fawning over him - and when the blonde guy with blue eyes turns up one say, they bans together for protection. Bones is a single dad, Jim with his niece/nephew?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Wolves are Coming (Dear God Help Me)

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like this should have been better but school happened.

Leonard wants to leave the room as soon as he enters because Karen brought brownies. The brunette single mother waves to him too cheerily from across the room. Her son, Oliver, tugs at her pant leg and screams. “Hey, Leonard! I made brownies with that peanut butter frosting you love!” She calls out.

He wants to scream because playgroup is supposed to be for his daughter and he’s supposed to be able to brood in the corner whilst the children play, but instead he’s in the middle of the room being ogled by single mothers who he really doesn’t know how to tell that’s he’s not interested in the whole woman thing. “Hello, Karen. Ladies.” He nods to everyone in the room and shifts Joanna on his hip. “Hello, Oliver. Do you need something?” He puts Jo on the ground and squats down to the little boy’s level.

Oliver frowns even deeper and points up at his mom. “She won’t give me a brownie and she’s being a meanie butt.”

Leonard tries his hardest not to laugh, he really does, but in the end his eyes crinkle up and he chuckles a bit before standing up. “Well, I think we can fix that. Do you mind, Karen?” He doesn’t wait for a response, just reaches for the plate and holds it out for Oliver to pick his own. The kid likes to be treated like a grownup.

Karen and the other mothers croon and she latches onto his arm. “You are so good with Olly, Leo. You absolutely must come over some time so he can play with Joanna!” She looks at him with wide eyes a smile he knows she probably spent hours in the mirror perfecting in high school.

He awkwardly pats her hand and pulls away from her vice-like grip. “Uh, yeah sure we’ll have to work something out.” He turns to Joanna, who is frowning with her arms crossed in front of her chest. “Jo, what’s wrong?”

Joanna turns to him, eyes completely dry. She doesn’t cry because apparently, ‘Crying is for babies, Dad. I’m five, not a baby.’ She stomps her foot a little. “Ariella isn’t going to be here because her mommy is out of town, I just ‘memebered. Now I have to talk to these dummies.”

Leonard shakes his head at his daughter. “You know what we said about calling people dummies, Joanna McCoy.”

“Yeah, but you call people dummies all the time, Dad so you don’t get to tell me what to do.” Joanna stomps away from her father and Leonard wishes she hadn’t inherited quite so much McCoy.

“Hello? I’m Jim Kirk and I really really hope I’m in the right place.” A (really hot) guy with blond hair, Jim apparently, whispers to Leonard.

“JOANNA! I’m here! I didn’t think I was going to be able to but Uncle Jim is gunna be taking me while momma’s gone!” Ariella Kirk runs through the room and hugs her best friend tightly. 

Leonard looks back to Jim, who’s watching the two girls with a fond smile. “Yeah, you’re in the right place. I’m Leonard McCoy, father of that little monster your niece is hugging.” He sticks his hand out for a handshake. Jim grins widely.

“Oh? I’ve met Jo before but I don’t think I’ve ever met you.” 

And of course, because all good things have to end, the moms notice Jim. “Oh, Leonard, who’s your friend?” They flock toward them, Karen in the lead.

“Moms, this is Jim Kirk, Ariella’s uncle. Jim Kirk, these are the moms.” He leans in to Jim and whispers in his ear, “Seriously, run. They’re wolves.”

Jim’s eyes go wide and a look of pure terror takes up his face. “Hi.” He manages a smile. “Can someone direct me to the bathroom?”

Leonard cackles.

-

“So, a doctor? A regular old sawbones?” Jim talks in a hushed voice to Leonard where they’ve hidden away in the corner of the room. 

It’s the second Group Jim’s been to and they have teamed up to ward off the women.

“Yeah, my dad was a doctor so it just seemed right for me. I actually ended up liking it, so that’s good.” 

Jim smiles at him. “Well, that’s good, Bones.” He speaks up, “How’s it going, Ari? Jo?”

The two girls look up from where they had been giggling together whilst playing with trains. “Good, Uncle Jim.” Ariella rolls her eyes at them before going back to Joanna, who sticks her tongue out.

Jim looks affronted. “She never used to be that sassy.”

“I’m afraid my Jo probably has something to do with that.” He shrugs nonchalantly.

Jim throws his head back and laughs out loud, giving Leonard a chance to admire the line of his neck and his collarbones. Some people should never be allowed to wear v-neck t shirts. He gulps and finally builds up the right amount of courage required for what he’s about to do.

“So, Jo and Ari normally have a playdate after group on Fridays and Sam said they could still do it and he’d watch them. Do you maybe want to grab lunch or something after we drop them?”

“Well, here I thought you’d never ask.” 

-

On Tuesday in play group, Jim and Leonard sit next to each other and fight not to laugh every time one of ‘the wolves’ comes up and covertly tries to ask one of them out. Jim is the first to break when Janelle walks away, slightly put out that neither of them reacted to her advances.

“Oh my God, Bones! I cannot do this.” He doubles over and puts his hand on Leonard’s leg. “Seriously, can’t we just make out and be done with it?”

Leonard almost spits out the water he was drinking and instead ends up choking. “Seriously, Jim. I’m going to kill you.”

Jim flutters his eyebrows. “But I’m too pretty to be killed.” He flutters his eyelashes. 

Damn those blue eyes. “Yeah, you are. Does not mean I’m going to be making out with you in front of a bunch of five year olds.”

So Jim pouts and Leonard kicks him. He wonders how on Earth he’s in so deep with a guy he only met a week ago. “Hey Jim?”

“Bonesy?” 

“Does this seem a bit fast to you?”

Jim immediately looks worried. “No, I don’t-well, maybe, but I feel like I’ve known you for a long time and I really like you, Bones.”

Leonard reaches out and takes Jim’s hand, tangling their fingers together easily. “I’ve taken quite a liking to you too, darling.”

“Are you kidding me?” Karen is standing in front of them suddenly. “You’re both gay?”

Jim starts laughing again and Leonard becomes very very scared because now all the moms are gathering around them. “Uh, yeah. There’s a reason I’m not married to Jocelyn anymore.”

The women all have a collective look of shock/embarrassment/indignation. Eventually, Janelle speaks up, “Well, okay. Congrats on the relationship, then.”

All the women walk away awkwardly and Leonard wants to fall into a hole in the floor and die.

Jim is still laughing. “Dammit, Jim. It isn’t that funny.”

**Author's Note:**

> feedback appreciated  
> tumblr: fabtrek
> 
>  
> 
> not my best, I know


End file.
